And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize