I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
