Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
