The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
