I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
