i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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