I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
