And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
