His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
