You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
