worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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