Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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