you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
