Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
