It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
