i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
