i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
