I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
