I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
