so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
