so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize