is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
