she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
