I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
