That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
