Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
