My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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