So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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