No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
