are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
