wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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