the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
