He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
