PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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