I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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