Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
