what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
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Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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