I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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