I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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