I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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