carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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