worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
