I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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