Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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