is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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