WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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