We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
