Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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