Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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