Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
