I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
