Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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