who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
