I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
